I walk to Dunkin’ Donuts every day. I view it as part of my treatment for agoraphobia; I once was told that a daily outing can help. Every time I go there, I walk right by a mom & pop coffee shop. I always feel kinda bad, walking by like that, on my way to give corporate America my money.

Today, as I was walking by, the mom & pop shop had a sign outside that said I could get an extra large coffee for $2. Great! I thought this was a good chance to support a local business and get a cheap iced coffee. So, I turned right off my usual route and went into the shop. I ordered my extra large hazelnut iced coffee. She went behind the curtain to a secret room to make my drink (odd). She came back with my coffee, pushed some buttons on the register and said, “That’ll be $4.98 please.”

“What? The sign said two dollars.”

“Oh, that’s for hot coffee.”

“Well, the sign didn’t say anything about hot or iced coffee, so I just wanted to order an extra large iced coffee for two dollars.”

“Sir,” she said, “it’s made with espresso so it’s more expensive than that.”

“Now wait a second, I didn’t ask for an iced Americano. I didn’t tell you to use espresso.”

“Fine,” she said as she threw her hands up, “since you didn’t understand the sign I’ll give it to you for two dollars.”

“Thanks,” I said, adding, “don’t worry, I won’t make the mistake again,” in an effort to imply that I wouldn’t be coming back.

“You’re welcome,” she said harshly. “You know,” she added, “we put the sign out so people will know we’re cheaper than Dunkin’ Donuts.”

“If you’re cheaper than Dunkin’ Donuts, why does it cost almost five dollars for an iced coffee?”

That’s when I left, went to Dunkin’ Donuts, and got a better, cheaper coffee.